Some days back I was reading an article on our “blind spots”. These are the areas of our body that are often neglected. We do not like these areas. We do not pay attention, let alone the due love and care. These spots will often have dry skin, itching, abnormal hair growth, tight muscles, skin diseases etc. In a way “the blind spots” are shouting for attention. Despite of their shouting, we neglect them. Why?
Because we have our emotional traumas stored there. And we do not like touching the sites that have been hurt, do we? It is a defence mechanism that our mind creates to avoid emotional pain.
To give you an example, for many of us our back is one such area. We are physically constrained in providing a loving touch to our own back, cleaning it properly. At a metaphysical level, our back represents receiving. And since we like to receive from outside we need to ask others for help when it comes to caring for our back. Who doesn’t love a back massage, releasing tension that we store there. relaxing those taut muscles of our back? Many of us do not like our external sexual organs, anus etc. Apart from social conditioning of this life, we may have store past life traumas there.
How do we find blind spots? Just look for dry skin, itching, abnormal hair growth, tight muscles, skin diseases etc. Also touch each part of your body and see which parts react with fear, withdrawal, pain, muscle contraction in not just on that spot also any other place in your body. If you find any of these you have found your blind spots.
How do we deal with the blind spots:- The article suggested that we go around the blind spot. Start at the nearest possible area where you feel comfortable. Give a gentle massage in circular motion. Make circles bigger and bigger so as to slowly move towards your blind spot. Do this as process slowly as needed, and make sure your comfort with the area you are massaging is maintained. If there is any discomfort, go back to a smaller circle. And there will be a time you will be able to touch your blind spot without any discomfort. In effect you are using love to heal that trauma.
So then I started finding my blind spots and healing them one by one. One startling area I found was my umbilicus. This is where I was storing a deep trauma. Trauma of first separation, separation from mother – umbilical cord cutting. So yes, as I started dealing with that blind spot, I regressed to the cord cutting event. I felt all the pain and suffering that experience had. I released it.
Our umbilical cord is our feeder, our connection with our mother. When we are born, placenta and umbilical cord is born with us. Some cultures believe that the placenta is a twin soul for us, and they even bury the placenta like a child is buried after death. Umbilical cord withers by itself naturally. By that time it transfers all the energy to us.
But today, we do not allow the cord to die its natural death, we cut the cord immediately after birth, and that marks our first trauma after coming to this world (See links below for article on not cutting the cord). Don’t you think it would be painful for a child to have a sharp cut? I wonder where the nerve ending in the cord report to? the child’s brain or nowhere?
Then came a realization. Most of us accumulate fat around sites where we have emotional traumas are stored. We do so because we want to hide the trauma from other people and ourselves. It is a body’s defence mechanism. Obese males have a pattern of obesity – “male pattern obesity”, in which they accumulate fat over the abdomen.
My thought are –
Males can not handle the trauma of separation from the mother, and they store that trauma in umbilicus hence they accumulate fat around the abdomen. Males most often have suppressed their loving caring feminine part. They are unable to overcome the cord-cutting trauma because, they are unable to connect to their “inner mother” – the internal maternal energy, which is very much feminine. Females on the other hand, should be able to connect to their inner maternal energy. And do not typically show the “male pattern obesity”.
However, these days where women are increasingly taking up masculine roles and suppressing the female energy in them, it is not uncommon to see male pattern obesity in females.
The conclusion is if you want to get rid of the belly fat, you need to connect to your inner mother. Love yourself like a mother does, allows others to love you. 🙂
- Cutting Umbilical Cord Immediately May Help Lead to Anemia, Iron Deficiency and Poor Brain Development (counselheal.com)
- Cutting cord early ‘risk to babies’ (bbc.co.uk)
- Umbilical Cord Trend: Not Cutting it Off (theepochtimes.com)
- Listen to mother: time to change NHS practice on umbilical cord-cutting (guardian.co.uk)
Half of my life is spent in labeling and judging people and things around me. Good, bad, ugly, good for health, bad for health, cruel, loving so on and so forth.
When I label something as good, what I really mean is it is better as compared to me, or good to me. So it is always relative to me. In short I am not evaluating the other, I am trying to evaluate myself on taking the other as a standard.
And why do I need to evaluate myself. Because I need to prove to myself (or my ego) that I am good enough. And that’s because I do not believe so. So this moment on, I choose to believe “I am good enough” As I do that, this compulsive need for labeling & judging is gone. I open myself to receiving and giving unconditional love to all there is.
I blame my labeling on inherent duality of life. I say there is no flow of energy if there aren’t two poles and hence I need to have +ve vs. -ve. This flow, the creations that it brings are proof for me that I exist, I do, I am capable, I am good enough.
I need this proof because I believe not that I am already perfect. There is no proving. No doing. Only being and experiencing. The whole purpose of duality is to teach us transcend to it and go back to our true nature – unity, love, being, present.
One awesome post. Shares my ideas.
Day before yesterday, I went to get my leave and license agreement renewed near District court. Me and my landlord traveled to that place on my motorbike.
As the process was starting, I heard someone shout “Has someone parked a bike here?” Took me a moment before,realizing suddenly that I have parked my bike in no parking.
I quickly rushed outside the shop. To my horror two men were lifting my bike at putting it on a towing- truck.
I shouted at them ” My bike, Put it down!”. But nothing happened.
They shouted back the name of the place where they were taking it.
So I returned cursing the traffic guys. I also saw that there were around 10 bikes and couple of cars parked next to mine. I was infuriated “why my bike?” After a while a policeman parked a bike in almost the middle of the road. But his bike was unaffected. “why my bike?”.
Then, I came back kept thinking, “what a pain. It had to happen to me. On a day when I have to reach office in two hr from now. Why? Why?” Finally I took stock of time I have on hand till my documents get ready. By the time I also realized, there is no point in asking “why mine?”, they will always take a sample and put a punishment to that sample. And I went to the place, quietly paid the fine and got on with life.
So what’s happening here?
Isn’t it something like what you have experienced?
Two responses are happening here.
First one, Any stressful incidence (especially fear), triggers one of these three responses.
- Flight (Running away)
- Fight (Fight back) – When I shouted at those men, I was in fight mode.
- Play dead (Pretend I am not bothered)
Flight and fight responses literally involve an Adrenaline rush.
Second one, – Five stages of loss – Any loss, small or big (e.g. death of loved one, break-up, loss of job, loss of Income) triggers this response. This is a classical theory by Elizabeth Kubler Ross
- Shock/Denial – “No it’s not happening.” I was here for a while when I took a moment to realize what was happening. Bike was a small loss. This can last long, especially with death of loved ones.
- Anger – “Why me? It’s not fair!” When I was infuriated, cursing the traffic guys, I was here.
- Bargaining– “I will do this for you, will you return my loss.” I didn’t have time for this. Many a times this Bargaining is against God. (e.g. A littile girl praying – Dear God, I will always be a good girl, will you return my dog to me?)
- Depression – “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”. When I said its happening to me at this hour, I was sad, depressed. This is also where I texted my dad and wife.
- Acceptance – “Ok, It has happened. I can’t change it. I have to move on.” So I went and paid the fine. 🙂
In this bike case, I went through the whole cycle in 10 minutes. For bigger losses it can be months even years. One doesnt have to go through these stages sequentially. And many time people can move to next stage before completely handling the first. Sometimes people keep switching back and forth.
The key is knowing that these five stages are normal human behavior, there is nothing to be bothered about if you feel angry or sad. Here are some tips to handle grief well from our facebook page
More or less what I am thinking these days,
I was creating my reality. When I knew who I was, I stopped creating anything. – Nisargdatta Maharaj
(Everything is already perfect. There is no need to change anything. It is our ego that wants to)